Meditating as a Couple: The Basics, Boundaries & What To Expect

If you and your partner are equally excited about getting started with our healthy habits challenge, it might be a little daunting to know how to go about the mindfulness aspect, especially if you’re adding it to your routine for the first time in your life. Knowing how to meditate together as a couple is essentially about encouraging each other’s wellbeing journey, knowing the basics, respecting personal boundaries and exploring the ways that work best for you. The last thing you want is to be hindering your partner’s mindfulness practice because of something as small as typing on your laptop or switching on the coffee maker when they are trying to journey inward. This guide will help you avoid these kinds of hindrances, along with teaching you and your partner the basics to get started.

Meditating as a Couple: What To Expect

For first time meditators, it can be helpful to know what you can expect when you first get started. Right off the bat you should know is that it won’t be a linear journey. Making time for stillness and going inward will require patience, trusting the process and reminding yourself to breathe and stay calm on days when your mind is racing. Couples should expect that one person will likely take to the meditation process faster and more readily than the other. That’s not to suggest that one is “winning” (comparison is not welcome here!). There are many different circumstantial factors that make it easier for one partner to journey inward than the other. Rather than analysing this, try to support and encourage each other with compassion and understanding, which tends to yield more positive long-term results.

Starting Small and Building From There

As our piece on getting started with a healthy morning ritual suggests, the key to beginning a mindfulness practice is to start small and to build from there. The idea is to keep things simple with just five minutes of mindfulness at the beginning of your day. Talk to your partner about whether they would prefer to meditate in the same room, what possible distractions might be, and how you can encourage the all-important quiet time for each other. If you live in a house with other people, ask them to please give you space and quiet for those couple of minutes. Explain to them that you are trying to improve your health and wellbeing, and their support is invaluable for that. Same goes for your partner, and if you approach it as a team, you’re more likely to create sustainable habits moving into the future.

Setting Clear Boundaries

As I’ve touched on quickly already, it helps to set a couple of boundaries with each other when you’re trying to build momentum for a meditation practice. This includes not doing the dishes during meditation time, making sure you don’t use noisy machines (like a blender or juicer), or simply offering to go for a walk while your partner meditates, especially if you don’t find it practical to do so together. Sound is a major factor and can be a real distraction, and even though it will be easier to block out noise as your meditation practice gets stronger, this takes time. If your partner struggles with upholding your boundaries, try listening to an audio meditation with earphones to drown out the noise. This is a short term fix, and in the long run they should also learn to accept and respect when you want some time to yourself. A positive way in which your partner can help you is to light an incense stick or ring a gentle bell at the start of the “quiet time”, in effect creating a ritual and opening the “safe space” for you both to get still.

Meditation as a Tool For Sustainable Wellbeing

No single tool can account for your good overall health and wellbeing all the time. Meditation is one of a series of tools that help to promote sustainable wellbeing in the long run, and can be very useful to help both parties in a partnership kick off a journey towards personal growth and a joy filled life. The focused concentration brought about by mindfulness, as well as the fact that it brings you back to the present moment on a daily basis, can be a real stress buster. It may also contribute to reducing anxiety, chronic pain, help with depression, high blood pressure and even helping to prevent heart disease. Give it a go with our healthy habits challenge, and if you need a bit more help to forge a routine including meditation, don’t be shy about booking a holistic health coaching session with me for some extra advice and guidance.